qrazed enough to splat, dazed enough to rant

tralala

qonfuzedqookie — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 04:20:19 +0000

last week was actually one of the most emotionally tiring week. tho i didnt do much at work, when it got to the weekend i was just tired. was feeling good about myself when i woke up on sunday morning, knowing that i should put the drama’s behind me.. fucking tiring weh.

its all about being OUT from the circle.

back to the happy me.

drama mama hAHAHAHA.

qonfuzedqookie — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 04:02:38 +0000

last night.. was just.. fucking hillarious. i tell ya.

i was at the hush relaunch party last night in bangsar. and the party was great! good show cindy.

but. the best show would be :

1. meeting the x.

2. got scolding from the x.

3. the x went off crying.

4. the date comes.

5. the fling comes.

ALL IN ONE PLACE. damn drama weih.

and then.

6. bring date to watch girl which im into performing at Attic.

7. the girl brings her date

8. the girl smiled at me while she was singing and her date was in front of her.

9. and i know. I KNOW the girl still has something for me. ARRGHHH.

aduh. really. im just looking for trouble lah.

but apart from that.. i bumped into a lot of people.. new and old. so fairly.. it was a good wednesday night out. am wondering what tonight will bring. ngeh ngeh.

fantastic night

qonfuzedqookie — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 05:08:40 +0000

thank god that the effect of 7 glasses of wine wiped out.

it was a terrific night.

good conversation within the hour. eyes gazing and the sound from all the other diners/drinkers were just zoned out. nothing else, but the sound of me and her just talking.

its not that im falling for you. its too early for that. i need to get to know you better and to make sure that youre sure about me too. its dangerous for me to say that i have, but you know at this stage, feelings are definitely uncertain and what we have right now would be more than enough to make both of us happy.

dont make me hate you. theres no reason for me to feel what you want me to feel. if this was just a facade that youre pulling, its not working on me, because somehow.. i know who you are, deep inside.

lalalala. im happy.

tidak berfikir

qonfuzedqookie — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 06:14:36 +0000

im not expecting.

or subconciously i am.

tsk tsk tsk. i shouldnt.

but maybe i want to?

i know this would definitely bite me in the ass sooner or later.

lets just see how this situation works.

unexpected

qonfuzedqookie — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:22:12 +0000

This was what she wrote :

Unexpected. Reluctant Surprise

A slow start

A hiccup

A storm in a tea cup

Oh let’s walk home now

Feet wet soles set on the path that only we can, we can.

Oh what bliss it is to know that

We can laugh

Of things that were real

And stories were unfold

We will soldier on

You and I

In the midst of madness and inconsistency

There will be love

And light. And laughter

You sit oh so cool

On that red stool

In your upturned collat

And voice so clean

An stories were untold

We will soldier on

You and I

HATE IT if somehow things feels so right. Blargh.

enough of lies

qonfuzedqookie — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 09:52:55 +0000

was tempted to post up my bangkok posts, but screw it. i dont have the mood to do it. maybe when im feeling much better and get out from this feeling to murder all those people who are damn fucking fickled minded or.. sigh. shall keep the thought to myself.

someone that i just met last thursday asked me while i was happily zoning out.. ” you looked like you have a lot to think about”.. yes i do. yes i do. and definitely what the other person told me was true and i know it myself – im a volcano waiting to erupt.

but little did i realize until the time that im posting this up.. ive been very patient. ive been caving into too much of what people want and not doing anything about it. ive lost out too much. ive let the one i wanted to just go away and not chasing her to tell her that she’s mine.

well munky. not lucky. munky’s just pissy because everybody keeps on putting the idea in her head that they want something and just hit munky hard when she doesnt expect it that they want nothing. BLARGH.

maybe i should really turn into a nun. really. easier that way.

2 october babies are happy, and now waiting for me.

a monday, a tuesday…

qonfuzedqookie — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 12:15:09 +0000

dont you just hate it when you have so many things to write about but you dont have the time and when you have the time and be in front of the pc your mind goes blank? I HATE THAT.

well, my birthday weekend has passed and definitely..me and the other birthday girls agreed that it has been an eventful month.

what have i been doing for the past 1 week since my bday.

Friday – dinner with family at 8 in Sri Siam, then went to Le Deli Hartamas to meet up with some and then Changkat Bukit Bintang.. where i ended up passing out. Hahaha.

Saturday – hibernated the whole fucking day

Sunday – Went out for my birthday breakfast with my 2 lovelies, Curve and went back home to hibernate.

Fucking awesome weekend.

Monday – got completely sloshed at an event which i was working at, and had Nur and Mira and Abby to come and gave me a “good lecture” hehe. thanks guys appreciate.

Tuesday – Got auctioned off at a charity event where the proceeds goes to the malnourished kids. Someone bought me for RM500. whoa! thanks! now i know how much im worth for.

So ya. All this happened within less than a week.

And yes, ive got to stop drinking. I have less than a year to live. Yes thats right. May have told some of you that im sick, but i have not told you was there an expiration date on it.

This is what i received today.

“you actually made me miss you again out of the blue and im not liking this. i like the way i used to live my life, so dont go and do anything. Thank you.”

i miss you too.

aint my blog these days.. full of just total random jumping from one situation to the other? nasty.

ARGH STRESS. work is a love hate relationship where at the mo.. me is the hating it. blergh.

quoting gia

qonfuzedqookie — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:52:50 +0000

i know i just wrote a post about like 20 mins ago… but just got some news and so bloody angry right now.

you dont fucking throw a bomb in my face and happily say..

i miss you.

come down and see me.

im having a wedding dinner reception.

you just fucking dont. you just fucking dont.

another 10 minutes before the clock strikes 12. i wonder what else is coming my way.

and…. quoting gia..

“where the fuck does everybody goes when they say they have to go!”

sigh. whatever lah. i dont care anymore. girls can just go up my ass.

pathetic evening, crappy day

qonfuzedqookie — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:30:50 +0000

Oh my god. Just realized how much I missed blogging.

Well, its my birthday month! And, it has been a very eventful week I would say. Too many drama’s and good stuff has been happening in the span of 3 weeks. Some were memorable and some were meant to be erased from that chapter of my life.

What would be interesting to talk about here.

Social events?

Friends?

Random dates?

Yes, all three to me is quite interesting to talk about. Ha ha.

In a nutshell (yeah right), this would be one of the best years in my life where I’m enjoying my birthday. This has been the year where Ive been given the opportunity to meet new people, open up myself to new surroundings and also not afraid to take risk on things that I would never dreamt of doing. Most of the time, it feels good because it made me grow into a different person altogether but at the same time it makes me feel rockbottom, guilty because Im hurting a few people in the process of change.

Well…. some people has mentioned that my life has been filled with drama. Cant help it, so why dont you help yourself and find some other more interesting things that would spice up your life? Hah Hah Hah. Let me just laugh.

I miss you best friend.

At this point of blog, im guessing that Im just totally rambling away.. where some of the points just doesnt make sense. Too many things has happened, too little time to re-visit and talk about it. It feels pretty sickening that every single day I opened up this blog and stare at the screen trying to think about what to blog where a minute earlier I had a lot to talk about suddenly dissapears. Pretty much pisses me off really really.

Holding it up. Tearing. Sitting down here alone at this god forsaken kopitiam with my eye swollen on one side. Look at the bright side.. Im back to square one. A.L.O.N.E.

Y’know, I cant do this right now. Its not great to be all moody, sad on the eve of your birthday.

Happy Birthday qrazed munky, may the year brings good fortune to you.

hectic schmactic

qonfuzedqookie — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:48:51 +0000

oh.my.gawd. im just pooped.

just came back from booze shopping and also my outfit. im gonna look hot in it yaaaaaw.

well.. i guess after the crappy weekdays that ive been having.. the only thing for the week that ive been looking forward to is tomorrow which is TAG and lapsap.. and i just found out that Club 9 and the 6 Lounge which will be having a soft launch tomorrow is apparently a gay club! Well well.. definitely am gonna pop in there man.. but im just hoping that the scars on my neck will be gone by tomorrow.. sigh.

the next thing that im looking forward to.. my first ever birthday bash.

hahaha.. i actually stopped at “birthday bash”.. i got a little pretty excited so i went up to my room and sew all the badges together onto the uniform and put it on.. I LOOK DAMN AWESOME.HAHAH. despite me being broke, i cant believe i spent RM95 on the bloody uniform.. thank god that i can still use it out. =D.. so now back to me writing along.. heeehee..

omg. its 2am and i forgot that i have a meeting tomorrow. crap.